According to a recent census conducted by Online Dating Magazine, “there are approximately 2,500 online dating sites in the United States and more than 5,000 online dating services worldwide”
We live in a world where we are willing to use our phones to investigate the latest opinions of pundits or to hear the hullabaloo of our favored heartthrobs, but not to call each other.
Due to our willingness to disassociate ourselves from real, personal connections, an act that was long considered an irreplaceable rite of passage, the date, may seem to be in a weakened state. Online Dating Magazine’s research, however, proves there may still be hope.
It could be because of the hype of the approaching holiday and its romantic and idealistic connotations, but despite the institutions of Tindr, Grindr, Twitter and their ilk, the desire for face-to-face interaction remains strong.
Here at Saint Anselm students about what they prefer on dates and what they disdain. Overwhelmingly, any opportunity that allowed the potential couple to be one on one was favored over “group dates” because they encouraged direct interaction. Sean Curran, ’13 said, “I like to get to know someone, talk to them and learn things I wouldn’t know about them.”
Philip Zolotnitsky’s ’15 also preferred a one on one interaction. He preferred “sitting in a Starbucks, being able to talk.” Out of the twenty-seven students asked to describe their dream date, there were ten instances of students who prefer outdoorsy outings, including either a nature trek or stargazing. Four other students preferred watching movies, six opted to go out for dinner, and two dreamed of attending a theme park.
Six more students claimed chose “destination dates” – i.e. going dancing, to a museum, record store, or even having a nerf gun fight. According to Jocelyn Visconte ’13, either “a really cute picnic on the beach or looking at the stars in the summer” is ideal. Jon Daigle ’14 dreamed of “a walk in the woods, riverside picnic, and a night of stargazing.”
Jackie Conley ‘13 volunteered an actual account of a perfect date that she had been on: “On my two year anniversary, we did a scavenger hunt through our town where I had to find clues. The last clue led me to the beach, and he had rose petals, my favorite lunch, and he was playing our song…It was a perfect day.”
Katelyn Morreale ’13 suggested going to “a theme park, so we’d have time to talk in line” and Rachael Cecere ’16 added “going to an amusement park, where he wins me a prize”.
The age old claim that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach still seems to hold water. Tom Hickey’s ’14 described his ideal date as “pizza, jalapeno poppers and some movie.”
Sometimes, however, dinner is not the best option. Kelsey Fair ’16 spoke of a date where “he made a really bad steak – I had to pretend that I liked it, so we sat in silence.”
The most important aspect to any date seemed to be the level of comfort that existed between the couple. Kyle Lefebere ’16 said, “as long as it’s just the two of us, it doesn’t matter to me”. Rachel Campoli ’14 stated, “everything takes on a different perspective, where you can just be yourself and have fun”.
Caleb Mason ’14 added that any date that is “romantic – one that begins and ends in laughs” is preferable.
Some dates wanted a sense of adventure incorporated into their evenings out: “I would want to have a Nerf gun fight where you have to build forts” said Monica Hidalgo ’13 and “going dancing until your feet hurt, then dancing some more” said Hillary Beaton ‘15.
Martha Horton, ’15 wants “to do something unexpected… I like when they surprise me.” Some prefer to keep it simple, like Kelly Powers ’15, who stated that her dream date would be one “where my boyfriend actually shows up.”
Some students even offered some criticisms of failed past dates, though these students asked to remain anonymous. One male student’s summed up his worst date in just a few words: “her boyfriend showed up.”
Some young women lamented a lack of male chivalry. These students explained, “They talked about themselves the entire time” or “they spent the entire time on the phone.”
Despite these dismal dates, dating is still a hot topic here at Saint Anselm College. Peter O’Connell ’16 explained that they best dates are ones where “you can go home and tell your friends: ‘the person is so amazing that they can’t be compared to anyone else.’”
Although much communication has been reduced to acronyms, emojis or snapchats, the date, good or bad, will retain its influence for years to come.