Need a life? Consider letting the Lord lead you into his service
Fr. Stephen Lawson, Fr. Andrew Nelson, Sr. Ellinor Gardener, Sr. Esther Marie share their experience of religious life
March 12, 2022
Saint Anselm Abbey and the Office of Campus Ministry co-hosted a panel discussion called “What Should I do with my life?” for students to discern vocations, particularly in the priesthood and religious life. The panel was made up of Sr. Elinor Gardner, OP, Fr. Andrew Nelson of the Diocese of Manchester, Fr. Stephen Lawson, OSB, of Saint Anselm Abbey, and Sr. Esther Marie, DMML. The panel discussion took place on Thursday March 3 in the SGA Senate Room. Three of the panelists were alumni members, including Gardner, class of 1999, Nelson, class of 2000, and Lawson, class of 2008.
Gardner started by describing her vocation story. Gardner described how an encounter with Christ’s mercy in the Sacrament of Reconciliation sparked a calling to the religious life. She thought to herself afterwards: “Then, suddenly, I thought ‘What can I give you?’ You’ve given me everything… and the answer that was in my heart was myself.”
Marie then spoke about her vocational calling. Marie took about 15 years after feeling called to the religious life to find the right religious order. Marie’s three requirements for a community at the time were: a devotion to Mary, live in a faith community, and wear a habit. Yet, Marie did not give up hope. “We have to trust God’s timing because his timing is impeccable.” After 15 years and visiting twelve different orders, Marie joined the Daughters of Mary, Mother of Healing Love.
Nelson provided a different perspective into discernment as a diocesan priest. Nelson graduated from Saint Anselm College in 2000 and took some time to date and live in an apartment. It was a friend who directed him towards the priesthood. “If the pope suddenly said that priests could marry, would you enter the seminary?” It was that very quote that resulted in Nelson joining the seminary in 2007.
Lawson graduated from Saint Anselm College in 2008. However, Lawson’s discernment began while attending college. Although not from an overly religious family, Lawson was encouraged to explore the monastic life to try to meet new people. After graduating, Lawson continued to visit the monastery and felt encouraged to join after a conversation with Fr. Cecil Donahue at a dinner.
A few main themes reoccurred throughout the panel discussion. The first came from Nelson: discerning with other people. “Discernment is not something we do alone and that’s regardless of the diocesan priesthood or religious life…. We sit and try to sort it all out by ourselves and, at a certain point, we need to talk about it with someone else.”
Additionally, Gardner took on the theme of the Holy Spirit’s role in discernment. “It’s hard to describe your calling in words…. You will know internally where the Holy Spirit is calling you when the time comes.”
Nelson also noted that the fear of being lonely in the priesthood is a fear that spreads into many other vocations too. “Loneliness is a huge thing. I cannot tell you how many couples I have seen lonely in a marriage, in the religious life with a ton of sisters, and even in the monastery or by yourself as a priest. So it is important to think about whether something is a fear that spreads into other vocations in life.”
Nelson closed by showing how a vocation to the priesthood or consecrated life can be a special calling. “There’s something profoundly beautiful in realizing that God could be calling many of you here to give up everything for Him.”
The panel discussion was led by Br. Titus Phelan, OSB. Discernment-centered activities have begun to show up more commonly in events and programs around the college, such as a women’s discernment retreat last November and the return of the men’s holy week retreat with the monastic community. Students can access discernment resources through the Diocese of Manchester website.
