He laid there day and night, dying for love.  He was grounded.  Haunted by his past life, when his ex ghosted him, Zombie feared his decomposing heart would never love again. But he arose and wandered around the graveyard looking for love.

He came to Vampire and asked: “Hey, want to grab a bite?”

Vampire said, “Ah, I’m sorry, I’ve thrown off love. I’m still salty from my numerous exes.” His last one served him garlic. Another was too religious. The stakes of his heart were high. He counted all the red flags. Zombie is clearly desperate; he just walked up to him. He seems like the kind of lover who would make him lose his mind, and he wasn’t his blood type.

Zombie felt like he’d been stabbed by a wooden stake in the heart.  Yet instead of burying himself in sadness, he rose again.  He next approached a charming witch to see if she might brew up some romance.

“Hello Witch,” said Zombie.  “It seems you’ve cast a love spell on me, because I feel summoned to you.”

“It’s not magic that brought you here, but magic that’ll make you go away,” replied Witch.  “I won’t give you my love, but I’ll show you how to woo another.”

Zombie is stuck in the friend realm, but he’s grateful for Witch’s help.  Witch took a silver necklace, placed it on her wand and lifted it to the moon.  It flew off her wand and into Zombie’s rotten hand.

 “Give this to someone special,” said Witch.  “And you both will be happy forever.”

 “Thank you for your help,” said Zombie.  “I would die for you.”

Zombie took the beautiful silver necklace.

 “Thank you!  I know just who to give it to!” cried Zombie.

And Zombie knew just who he would give it to: his friend Werewolf.

“Halloooo!” howled Werewolf.  

 “I have a gift for you,” Zombie said, showing Werewolf the necklace.

When Werewolf saw the necklace, they were horrified.  “Is that silver?  Are you trying to kill me?” Werewolf screamed, running away.

Zombie faced more rejections after that.  He thought the devil was hot, but when he asked him out, the devil said, “Hell no!” Alien said she needed space after a previous breakup.  

Hopeless, Zombie made his way back to his grave.  Beside his coffin he found a note in hieroglyphics.  Mummy wrote that she’s had a crush on him for centuries and hoped he’d meet her across the street for a romantic walk.

Excited, Zombie ran as fast as a zombie can run through the graveyard and into the street.  Two bright lights flew toward him.

Zombie lay on the pavement.  The car blew his legs off, and he could barely crawl back to his grave.  He could never walk with Mummy.

Pay attention to the lesson of Zombie’s tragic fate.  When you go trick-or-treating, be sure to look both ways before crossing the street!  And when you are driving, be sure to watch out for pedestrians!