Welcome back Anselmians! I know many of you got your dancing shoes on this weekend and your very own Maude Pritchett was dancing right there with you.

This old bird managed to get herself together in a nice evening gown and t-strap shoes and danced herself into the night. I must say the event was not what I was anticipating when I heard us Anselmnians were having a Winter Ball.

Let’s start with the good parts. The decorations were lovely. It’s amazing what electric lighting can do to an aerobic facility. The snowflakes they flashed on the wall were very pretty, and set a nice tone for the night.

I also enjoyed the opportunity to dust off these old specks and get swinging. It’s always nice to take out your hairnet for a change and let it all hang out as the kids say. One part I didn’t understand was all the young ladies getting ready together. That must be a new thing for the younger generation. I don’t recall ever needing help putting on my face or brushing my hair. A little strange to help with that don’t you think?

A good and bad part was the food in boxes. I was informed (through my various means) that this was a formal occasion. I took the time to iron my petticoat and shine my pumps. I washed my old wrinkled skin with lavender soap. I stayed awake past 8:00 p.m. Why on earth was there boxed pizza at this formal event?

Now, after taking a bite or two, I realized it wasn’t bad. And the way people were rubbing against one another I would imagine they would work up an appetite. But pizza? If it’s a formal event I would imagine you’d serve some elegant refreshments, or at least food themed with the occasion. This was not what I was anticipating.

Cost is always a factor. I’ve been through more economic crises than I care to tell so I understand better than anyone the value of a dollar. My thought is though, if you can’t have food to fit the occasion than change the type of occasion or don’t serve food. The room itself had quite the odor after the pizza arrived.

I also didn’t understand the toilet paper on sticks that shot out into the crowd. I thought maybe the pizza created an epidemic of IBS and they hosts felt the need to supply people with the necessary items. I mean what other reason would there be for students to shoot toilet paper out into the crowd? Again, I go back to the way the event was marketed. It was called the “Anselmnian Winter Ball.” Why on earth did it seem like a dressed up version of a high school homecoming dance?

This is most certainly an issue of generational gap, but I also thought the music was quite loud. I didn’t even need my hearing aid. Not only could I hear everything that was going on, I could also feel it. Even these old, hollow, bones could feel the vibration of the music. Perhaps next time there should be a warning label before entering. I might even need to replace that hearing aid it was blown out so badly.

Although there were some glitches, I felt the formality and dress code helped keep the event under control. Ms. Pritchett here has attended quite a few social events sponsored at the college, including the disastrous Foam Party and Club SAC, and this was the least offensive to attend.

Next time, you all should look for me at the dance. You know I will be watching all of you.