Before sitting down to write this I watched a segment on MSNBC during which Melissa Harris-Perry wrote a letter to the Steubenville, Ohio rape survivor and read it on the air. The first thing she said was, “This letter is an apology for being an adult who has failed to make the world safe for you. You should be safe, and your vulnerability should not invite assault and attack of your body or your spirit. So, I’m sorry that we have failed to teach your male peers they have no right to touch you without your consent…” The letter goes on and if you have not watched it or have not found way to read it, you really should.
I bring this particular segment up because it is important. What happened to that young woman in Steubenville is not abnormal and neither is the negative media coverage surrounding her. Of course, there has been a viral outcry to these events. However, much of it has been directed at the victim. Social media websites have blown up with tweets and status updates about the victim “deserving it” and because she “was drunk so it wasn’t really rape.” Even CNN decried the destruction of the two rapists’
“promising potential football careers.” This the kind of world we live in.
The truth is, what happened to that girl happens to thousands of people all over the world, both women and men, every single day. We mistakenly believe that rape culture only affects women. However, everyday men are sexually assaulted and raped as well.
The act of rape is a direct violation of one’s personhood. In committing this violent crime the rapist essentially tells their victim that he or she is not a person and therefore has no right to their own mind, sexuality or agency over their body. For a culture that proclaims that people have, “certain unalienable rights, among which are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” we certainly do not act like it.
From elected politicians who believe that there is such a thing as a “legitimate” rape to average people who will first say, “Well, what was she wearing?” before making a statement of sympathy for the victim. It is to this kind of attitude that I say, no more. If there has ever been a time to say “Enough.” that time is now. We must say “No” to the idea that because someone is passed out from intoxication they are automatically giving you the green light to do whatever you want to them. We must say “No” to the idea that someone’s choice of clothing is synonymous with a desire for sex. We must stand up for those who are too young to stand up for themselves. We must remember that we were all young, vulnerable and naïve. We must remember that at any point we could be taken advantage of and our spirit attacked in one of the worst ways possible.
As mentioned before our country allegedly believes in the unalienable right of the human being. If this is true, then no person who defends proved rapists would dare fly an American flag in their yard. The second we defend the actions of a proved rapist, in any manner, we forsake that virtue. The second we attempt to vilify a victim we become horrendous hypocrites.
Pope John Paul II often referred to our age as a “culture of darkness.” I can think of no darker culture than one that subliminally supports rape. Through ads on television, articles in magazines and even off-the-cuff rape jokes made over milkshakes in our own coffeeshop, the world has made this topic something that is okay. People make jokes about it all the time and my friend said it right, “I’ve heard enough rape jokes for a lifetime.” There is no excuse for that. Rape is not funny. All rape is legitimate. And if you truly believe that advertising a product using the dehumanization of another living person is “cool” or “witty” , then you have some serious priorities to sort out.
This culture needs healing. It needs a promotion of unity, of personhood. It does not take a genius to figure out that something is seriously wrong. Rape has been a part of humanity since its inception, it has been a tool used for war, politics and domestic issues. The difference between history and the present is that we finally admit to it. We have finally created a name for this disgusting trend. The voices of afflicted men and women are finally starting to be heard over the din of those who would wish to silence them.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this piece, Melissa Harris-Perry apologized for being an adult and failing to protect the next generation. Are we going to have to give the same apology? Here at Saint A’s we have a full campaign for victims of sexual assault. (I really hope you remember the t-shirts that were hanging in Cushing.) Is that enough? Has that been enough to affect the culture on this campus? Is there truly something we can do, here on campus and in our lives, to prevent rape from happening?
I want to say, “Yes! Of course! Band together and we’ll stop rape forever! Three cheers for only consensual sex ever!” But that is not realistic. I don’t have answers or tactics. I won’t tell you to change what you wear, how much you drink, who you talk to, who you hook up with or even which way you walk home at night. That will not end rape.
Teaching people (Yes, I mean men and women.) that rape is among the worst crimes a person can commit will prevent rape. Teaching people that each person has a right to their own body will end rape. How we respond to rape, will in many ways end rape.
Ending rape culture is one step toward ending rape. We as a community can refuse to protect rapists. We can boycott products that are advertised with sexual assault-like tactics.(I’m looking at you Belvedere Vodka.)
We can agree that people are more important than positions and that organizations do not have the right to pressure victims into silence. We can promote awareness, not only through on-campus campaigns, but through what we are willing to tolerate in conversation in our daily lives.
We as a community can promise to uphold these truths that are self-evident, because we understand that the rights another person holds through their humanity are things that can never be denied.