As we all know, this is the time of year during which prospective students visit colleges. Naturally, the schools put their best foot forward, highlighting all of the great aspects they have to offer: St. A’s has probably been noting the natural beauty of the campus, the small class sizes, how our sports teams don’t actually lose all the time, and of course our very own campus streakers.

Yet another incident of a seemingly random man randomly displaying serious balls—guts, gall, get your mind out of the gutter—has occurred.

What is it about Saint Anselm College that attracts flashers? We’re a fairly quiet, highstrung Catholic school—not much goes on here. How is it that we manage to get these weirdos?

Better yet, since we really are such a stereotypical small Catholic college, how is it that these perverts are never caught or even attributed a decent physical description by those who have seen them? Seriously, how many times has this happened this year alone?

Enough that it’s frankly not all that surprising when it happens anymore, that’s for sure.

So when we read about these events, we’re told that it’s basically some guy with, well, the bits that make him a guy on display, meandering around campus and doing…nothing. Seriously. Have any of these people harassed anyone? Made off-colored comments or advances? Heck, said anything at all—asked for a nice cuppa tea?

Apparently not. Just your average guy going for a stroll with a nice breeze through his privates, as you do.

Really, though, even if he’s not doing anything, can’t we at least pin a relatively detailed description beyond him being, well, a he? Vague attributes such as tall or dark-haired have been mentioned, sure, but that leaves us with more than half of the male student body here as suspects.

Another question we need to be asking: is it the same guy every time? The descriptions are so vague it may as well be for all we know. More importantly: what with no serious harassment or identity being described, why has he (or they) not been caught? Are we sure this is even true?

Maybe it’s one long prank made by security here. Maybe it’s just drunk students—not doing the flashing, I mean maybe it’s drunk or otherwise inebriated students having these apparent sightings which are actually just delusional due to not having their wits about them.

Regardless of who or what or why or if it even is actually true, one thing’s for sure: it’s ridiculous. Indecent exposure is pretty nasty.

Mace is a socially acceptable thing to carry. It can’t really be that difficult to call campo over to deal with this person, if he even exists, right then and there instead of letting him meander off. And really, if you’re going to give such vague descriptions as tall and dark-haired, you may as well just stick to the description of “man with no pants” since that at least narrows it down.