Ooooo wow! Can you feel that crisp air? I say autumn came quick this year. One day I am sweating in my frock, and the next I’m search my cave for my long underwear. I knew it must be almost fall when I started to crave apples. I don’t eat many apples, on account of my only having seven teeth, but I do love that first fresh picked apple right off the tree.

I used to keep my apple cores on a pile outside my cave, but I soon discovered all the squirrels on campus were congregating around the pile. So I started to throw them further up the hill so they could enjoy them without me having to step in their poo.

I do find this time of year to be fascinating though. Students begin to act irrationally and it seems to only get worse until spring returns.

I sat in on a psychology class a number of years ago and I learned that the behavior that students are exhibiting are similar to the stages of grieving.

All the girls go out to parties in little outfits and pretend they aren’t cold. Now dear ol’ Maude has been around some, and I know that booze can give you a nice and toasty feeling, but do not be fooled! Those little outfits must stay with summer; you cannot deny the cold for long, frostbite does not care if your insides “feel” warm. And denial is simply what is going on. No one wants to believe summer is over so they keep dressing the same old way and parting outside all night and shivering all the while.

Then the day you get your midterms back comes, you spent too much time hanging on to the last bit of summer freedom, and not enough time studying. The truth gets a little closer and boy oh boy do you youngsters hate having the truth thrown in your face. You get angry at your professors, they didn’t tell you what would be covered on the exam, and they didn’t give you enough time to prepare. You can see all the hard work you have ahead of you to bring your grade back up.

This is when you start to barter like old ladies at yard sales; you try to bargain with your professors and shamelessly with God. “If I could only have an extension on this,” or my favorite pile of doggy no no, “Oh God help me pass this and I will try harder next semester.”  I have heard that one many times while passing your windows at night, and we all know it’s a bunch of bologna.

So you begin to calculate what you have to get on your final exam to get an A in the class and when the calculator reads “98%,” the depression sets in. you hit the books hard for a day or so, but being college students, you’re young and resilient and bounce back quickly.

You begin to accept that you will only get a B in the class and go sell back your books before the test. The video games and beer that have beer in hibernation since you saw your midterm grade come back out. You decide to start your Christmas vacation early and just hope that spring arrives early.