Social norms have a strong pull. The social expectation of the modern woman is that she takes advantage of the fruits of each wave of feminism without abstention. Not only are you equal to a man, but you are to leave the prospect of devoting yourself to a family and making a home in the back drawer; you take on the career expectations of a traditional man. Now, do not get me wrong, I am all for individual choice and finding your calling. If that means working and climbing the corporate ladder– to each their own. What I am against is the modern stigma and shame for women who choose to give up personal gain and career success by searching for fulfillment of a different, more spiritual vocation, homemaking.
My mother is the greatest person I know. She is full of love, strong, intelligent to no end, and devoted to putting her family first. There is simply no way I can thank her enough for every opportunity she has given me. Especially, because she has given up opportunities in her life for mine. She is also my best friend. I do not know if we would be as close in the same way if it were not for the time, care, and intentional living she gave to me. My greatest passion, art, was also introduced to me by my mother. She facilitated my artistic, social, academic, and spiritual growth. She is a homemaker.
What does that mean? It looks different for each family. In mine, not only does my mother do most of the cooking and cleaning, she also manages the money, budgets, shops, does all of the landscaping and gardening, takes care of our multiple pets, and does a lot of handiwork and maintenance. She was very involved when I was in grade school, running the yearbook and being a PTA member.
Without spending too much time explaining all the ways I appreciate my mom, I am sure you can understand that she does more than we all deserve. Her’s is a lifelong labor of love and a chosen one. That said, she has also faced criticism for not pursuing a corporate career. More often than not, those comments came from working moms in our town, also involved with the PTA. These women would judge her for not going back to work once my brother and I were in school. There is irony in the hypocrisy of the women shaming homemakers. The early feminists fought for the right to choose, not for a forced lifestyle in any sense of the word.
Mary Wollstonecraft (1759-1797), a British writer and women’s rights advocate, wrote, “Surely something resides in this heart that is not perishable—and life is more than a dream.”
Upon reading this quote, I am reminded once again of vocation and the spiritual longing that rests in each of our individual hearts as humans. Over the past five years, my plan for my life has changed several times. Ideas for careers came and went like passing ships. I decided on a major that I have always been passionate about at various times in my life: legal studies. Even having this exciting plan for a career, I cannot help but think of my future family, a calling that, to me, is even stronger than the pull I feel to law.
I also cannot help but think that the “something in this heart that is not perishable” refers to God and the constant presence He has in and around our lives. As one grows closer to Him, I think it natural that one would have a stronger sense of peace when it comes to the future, and the worldly desires and plans you have for yourself fall by the waysides as you seek Him and what glorifies Him in your life. As I have grown closer to God and my own values, I have felt more of a calling to the type of lifestyle I want to build; most importantly, I want to have the same impact on my children that my mom had on my life. Having a solid career makes you a provider for yourself, for your community, and for your family if you choose to have one, but devoting yourself to your family is a true test of selflessness and one that deserves the same amount of respect given to those who embark on corporate careers.
