You walk into the dining hall at 11:30 on a Wednesday morning, again at 6 o’clock that evening, and again on Thursday morning. What do you see – regardless of where you sit? Groups and gaggles of students who call themselves “friends” pecking away at their phones, laptops, and “smart” watches.

I’ll admit that these gadgets & gizmos have graced our lives with many versatile services and are general blessings – I’m not a small-minded Luddite by any stretch of the imagination. However, in this world dominated by texts, “DMs,” and great floods of notifications, we are losing the skilled art of in-person conversation. With that comes a whole host of issues.

Nobody can deny that technology has transformed communication, whether we like it or not. Text messages are quick and convenient ways to keep in touch with those we love or demean those we don’t (they’re quite easy to hide behind – let’s work on that).

But try walking across campus without spotting someone with their face buried deep in their screen – texting a parent, friend, or significant other. It’s impossible – they’re everywhere! Even when people are together physically, they remain isolated in the world of their phones. I’d be willing to wager that students would likely opt to text rather than have a face-to-face conversation. Even phone calls are considered “old-fashioned” these days.

They don’t seem to understand that real conversation matters. Looking someone in the eye and listening to their thoughts as they form them builds empathy, deep connections, and social skills. Text messages cannot replicate valuable skills such as active listening, reading body language, handling awkward pauses, and empathizing in real time. And then we wonder why young people have an especially hard time with personal growth and career success!

Digital conversations – if you can call them that – fall short. Text messages cannot convey tones, which leads to hollow and pointless banter that can cause misunderstandings. On the other hand, interactions with real people provide clarity and understanding that’s often missed over text. And if a question arises – you can simply ask (or change your expression to convey a sense of confusion).

Now, I know it could be tricky for some to jump right in using big words and forming full sentences after they’re used to reducing everyday terms to snippets of their former selves (and don’t get me started on emojis …) Quick responses like this erode the nature of dialogue in our world and the effect they might have on our youth could be detrimental.

For us college folk, these digital habits can spill over into our academics and lead to ineffective collaboration, and a general sense of malaise, panic, or ineptness when faced with a debate or simple discussion (even among peers). Friendships should be a time to test these in-person interactions, by hearing others and being heard yourself. Connectedness helps us manage stress, prevent social isolation, and improve overall well-being – issues students tend to face ever-increasingly.

I suggest we make an active effort to return to real conversations. When you eat your lunch, put your phone away. Go walk around the quad with friends and leave your phones in your dorm room. Shut your phone off one evening and don’t touch it until the morning. Can you do it? I’ll bet many can’t – that’s addiction.

If you can go a day without texting and engage in meaningful conversations with roommates, classmates, and others buzzing about campus you might find that the world you absorb on your phone distorts how you see things in real life. The dreary news, gossip, and pointless TikToks you’re taking in can change how you see the world.

These mindless forms of entertainment/infotainment do everything besides spoon-feeding you a perspective of the world narrated by bonkers Hollywood blokes and out-of-touch influencers who couldn’t care less about your success or well-being. Their advice is worth about as much as that of an out-of-work Babylonian fortune-teller, Grandmama from the Addams Family, or Mr. Bean.

There is an inherently irreplaceable value imbued by in-person conversations. They leave you feeling more fulfilled and well-connected. And besides – hasn’t anyone ever heard the adage, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder?” If that argument holds water, I can only imagine how strong the relationships of some of these digitally inseparable couples would be!

But seriously, think about it – what would campus life be like if everyone prioritized real conversation, even a little more? Get out there and make yourself heard and understood. And if you think I’ve gotten it all wrong – tell it to my face!