Welcome to Consider the Lilies
In this new column we are going to focus on getting back to basics. Examining things in life to soothe the soul and enrich our daily experiences. In Luke 12:27, the Word says, “Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they labor not, nor do they spin” (NASB).
It’s no secret that anxiety and depression rates have risen among teens and young adults in recent years. According to the Census Bureau’s Household Pulse Survey, half (50%) of adults ages 18-24 reported anxiety and depression symptoms in 2023. What’s causing this increase? I believe we have the wrong priorities and the wrong pastimes.
I hope that in the next few years as young adults that we may learn to spend our time faithfully and with purpose.
My goal with this regular section is to explore ideas, concepts, and ways to return to humanity’s basic tenets for a more peaceful and fulfilled life. I envision that we’ll take a look at forgotten skills, ways of life, hobbies, and religion topics in the modern era and how to implicate some of these ideas (if we deem them worthy) back into our daily lives. I hope that we can find answers to certain questions, explore studies, political concepts, and ideas or ways that we can find the good, true, and beautiful in our everyday life.
For our first issue to consider, I present to you:
The crisis of friendship.
Recently, I was listening to episode 179 of The Lila Rose Podcast featuring Fr. Gregory Pine, titled “Aquinas, Parenting, and Living Your Best Life.” Fr. Gregory brought up a point that jumped out at me.
In reference to college aged kids today, he said, “there’s no intermediate states between unassociated and romantically involved, or so it seems. And I think that because we don’t have the savor for, the feel for that real sharing and communing…we’re just losing a sense of how to relate.”
I firmly believe that technology and lack of fruitful parenting are at the root of this issue, among other things. But we can clearly see this blurring of the lines in the social landscape. I won’t dwell upon “hookup culture” as I’m sure most of you are familiar, but working interchangeably with this phenomenon is the mindless habit of partying to socialize.
Something I’ve noticed over the past five years is the struggle of convenience-based friendships. You go to grade school with the same kids you live on the same block as, you may have friends at work you pass the time with, and inevitably, college-aged students find themselves tied to the friends they go out drinking with on the weekends. While it’s all fine and dandy to have connections with these friends, I wonder if many students yearn for something more stable and rooted in some kind of deeper connection. A good or true friend is one that leads to you some kind of goodness- fun and laughter are of course wonderful byproducts but if you were to look at it through a religious lens, the highest goodness would be the betterment of your soul, ultimately having a friendship that leads you towards Heaven, as all good relationships should. Even from a secular world view, shouldn’t your friends be people who bring richness and love to your everyday life?
C.S Lewis stated in his work, The Four Loves, that:
“… In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets… Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend. They can then say, as the blessed souls say in Dante, ‘Here comes one who will augment our loves.’ For in this love ‘to divide is not to take away.”
True friendship adds value to life. Lewis mentions how a collective of friends, all ordered towards good, makes each individual better. This is true. I would resolve that friendships grow the most when you spend your time together doing something productive. According to Pew Research’s annual article, “Teens, Social Media, and Technology” (2024), “Nearly half of teens say they are online almost constantly, up from 24% a decade ago.” This should be cause for concern—a call to action. How many times have you been hanging out with your friends and resorted to watching TikToks or Instagram Reels for long periods of time? When I say that time spent with friends should be productive, I do not mean that time spent together should be a sort of labor, but that the time you spend with true friends should be intentional and lead to a deeper friendship. It is important to have some friends who share the same hobbies as you, some friends who have the same values, and friends who are loyal, honest, and ultimately have your best interest at heart.
How do you find these types of friends? One should try to put themselves in good situations and often situations that feel a little outside of one’s comfort zone. No change will happen if you don’t take the first step. Perhaps join a new knitting or hiking club, join a new Bible study or find a group to pray the rosary with. See what comes next.