“Well I’ll be!” Dean exclaims upon curious discovery

Can you even believe this to be true?

Edward Frankonis, Crier Staff

Disclaimer: This article is a piece of satire. The Saint Anselm Crier Staff decided to add some post-April Fools Day stories. We hope these stories make you smile but don’t take them as fact.

“Well, would you look at!” continued to exclaim the Dean, as the prominent school official looked upon the accidental discovery that students, in addition to having access to Microsoft and Google’s full suite of email and document services, have access to a special Bing account as well. “Jee wiz, come look at this!” the Dean exclaimed to a nearby staff member, who joined the Dean in observing that, in addition to providing over two thousand students with a full suite of services from both Microsoft’s Outlook mail and Google’s Gmail, the college was providing free access to similar features from Bing. Apparently, school officials later recounted to Crier staff during an impromptu press conference, Bing’s suite comes with a point feature for using the search engine, in which students can earn credit towards major purchases of Microsoft’s popular products (such as Xbox games or Skype services) just by searching something on Bing. “My goodness!” said a nearly breathless Dean while grabbing the podium at press time, “students could be earning thousands of points of abstract in-store points, giving them de facto digital coupons towards the many of Microsoft’s most valuable products, like…” After a considerable pause, the Dean admitted that although no Microsoft products sprung to mind that students could use this credit on, this discovery would hopefully work to complement the already full access Saint Anselm College students have with their anselm.edu Microsoft Outlook and Gmail/Google Drive accounts.